duq-it-out submitted: My whole life I have struggled with my...

duq-it-out submitted:

My whole life I have struggled with my weight. In fourth grade, my grandfather called me fat while we were out at dinner. That stuck with me throughout middle and high school. In middle school, I wore a sweatshirt EVERY DAY over our uniform polo shirts, because I felt so terribly about my body. It didn’t matter how hot it was, I was ashamed to show an inch of skin. I began to hurt myself, I began to skip meals. I lost weight only to gain it back from emotional eating alone in my room at night. Girls from my middle school would prank call me and make fun of me. In high school, I was bullied online, behind my back, to my face, and I was incredibly depressed. I hated myself and how I looked so much that I was in an incredibly dark place and wished I could just end it. My junior year of high school I began to restrict myself to 500 calories a day, and lost a dangerous amount of weight in a month. I started doing this after I saw my prom picture (blue dress) because I was so ashamed of my body. By senior year I had managed to stop yoyo-ing, but my weight was still something I was ashamed of. I never wore tight shirts or dresses and longed to wear cute clothes. I was so scared to go off to college and make friends because I truly thought I wasn’t deserving of love and kindness. Just because of how I looked.

But my first two years of college were full of amazing friends who loved me just because of me. Regardless of how I looked and felt about my body, gone was the bullying, gone was the shame.

Over the past year, I have been working out and eating healthier. I still have so far to go, and I can definitely improve my eating habits. But the thing that has helped me the most is respecting and loving the body I have.

The picture of me in the black dress was from my birthday a few days ago. I was SOOO scared to wear that dress around all my friends, I felt so vulnerable. But looking back on these pictures today I realized just how far I have come.

This is my body. This is what carries me around and lets me do all the amazing things I can do. This body is strong, this body is beautiful, this body is capable. And I am proud of it.

MotiveWeight http://ift.tt/1UBuBkF